feat: add wave 2 plugins and --cprofile CLI flag

Add 7 new pure-stdlib plugins: whois (raw TCP port 43), portcheck
(async TCP connect scan with internal-net guard), httpcheck (HTTP
status/redirects/timing), tlscheck (TLS version/cipher/cert inspect),
blacklist (parallel DNSBL check against 10 RBLs), rand (password/hex/
uuid/bytes/int/coin/dice), and timer (async countdown notifications).

Add --cprofile flag to CLI for profiling bot runtime. Update all docs.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.6 <noreply@anthropic.com>

plugins/httpcheck.py

@@ -0,0 +1,109 @@
+"""Plugin: HTTP status checker (pure stdlib, urllib)."""
+
+from __future__ import annotations
+
+import asyncio
+import ssl
+import time
+import urllib.request
+
+from derp.plugin import command
+
+_TIMEOUT = 10
+_MAX_REDIRECTS = 10
+_USER_AGENT = "derp/1.0"
+
+
+def _check(url: str) -> dict:
+    """Blocking HTTP check. Returns dict with status info."""
+    result: dict = {
+        "url": url,
+        "status": 0,
+        "reason": "",
+        "time_ms": 0,
+        "redirects": [],
+        "server": "",
+        "content_type": "",
+        "error": "",
+    }
+
+    # Build opener that doesn't follow redirects automatically
+    class NoRedirect(urllib.request.HTTPRedirectHandler):
+        def redirect_request(self, req, fp, code, msg, headers, newurl):
+            result["redirects"].append((code, newurl))
+            if len(result["redirects"]) >= _MAX_REDIRECTS:
+                return None
+            return urllib.request.HTTPRedirectHandler.redirect_request(
+                self, req, fp, code, msg, headers, newurl,
+            )
+
+    ctx = ssl.create_default_context()
+    ctx.check_hostname = False
+    ctx.verify_mode = ssl.CERT_NONE
+
+    opener = urllib.request.build_opener(
+        NoRedirect,
+        urllib.request.HTTPSHandler(context=ctx),
+    )
+
+    req = urllib.request.Request(url, method="HEAD")
+    req.add_header("User-Agent", _USER_AGENT)
+
+    t0 = time.monotonic()
+    try:
+        resp = opener.open(req, timeout=_TIMEOUT)
+        result["time_ms"] = (time.monotonic() - t0) * 1000
+        result["status"] = resp.status
+        result["reason"] = resp.reason
+        result["server"] = resp.headers.get("Server", "")
+        result["content_type"] = resp.headers.get("Content-Type", "")
+        resp.close()
+    except urllib.error.HTTPError as exc:
+        result["time_ms"] = (time.monotonic() - t0) * 1000
+        result["status"] = exc.code
+        result["reason"] = exc.reason
+    except urllib.error.URLError as exc:
+        result["time_ms"] = (time.monotonic() - t0) * 1000
+        result["error"] = str(exc.reason)
+    except Exception as exc:
+        result["time_ms"] = (time.monotonic() - t0) * 1000
+        result["error"] = str(exc)
+
+    return result
+
+
+@command("httpcheck", help="HTTP check: !httpcheck <url>")
+async def cmd_httpcheck(bot, message):
+    """Check HTTP status, redirects, and response time.
+
+    Usage:
+        !httpcheck https://example.com
+        !httpcheck http://10.0.0.1:8080
+    """
+    parts = message.text.split(None, 2)
+    if len(parts) < 2:
+        await bot.reply(message, "Usage: !httpcheck <url>")
+        return
+
+    url = parts[1]
+    if not url.startswith(("http://", "https://")):
+        url = f"https://{url}"
+
+    loop = asyncio.get_running_loop()
+    result = await loop.run_in_executor(None, _check, url)
+
+    if result["error"]:
+        await bot.reply(message, f"{url} -> error: {result['error']} ({result['time_ms']:.0f}ms)")
+        return
+
+    parts_out = [f"{result['status']} {result['reason']}"]
+    parts_out.append(f"{result['time_ms']:.0f}ms")
+
+    if result["redirects"]:
+        chain = " -> ".join(f"{code} {loc}" for code, loc in result["redirects"])
+        parts_out.append(f"redirects: {chain}")
+
+    if result["server"]:
+        parts_out.append(f"server: {result['server']}")
+
+    await bot.reply(message, f"{url} -> {' | '.join(parts_out)}")